


There is No Magic in the World

by antpelts



Category: Red vs. Blue
Genre: Asexual Wash, M/M, Nightmares, The blood gulch guys are mentioned, Trans Tucker, ftm tucker, not really suicide mention but concerns of suicidal thoughts are brought up, wash doesnt adjust well to living regularly after war
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-28
Updated: 2014-07-28
Packaged: 2018-02-10 17:20:50
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,545
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2033454
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/antpelts/pseuds/antpelts
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>David and Lavernius shared a small apartment, they didn't need much. After fighting and hardships they only needed a small place. (And a cat.) Life was a lot calmer but David, after all he was in war longer and didn't take everything too well, still jumped at loud noises. He flinched if you snuck up on him. Most nights he would wake up from a nightmare. So, Lavernius helped the best he could and hoped more than anything that his best was enough.</p>
            </blockquote>





	There is No Magic in the World

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you like it, man! B)
> 
> (tumblr is agt-wash i accept prompts)

It had been two years since Lavernius and David went home. Or rather, since they finally got a home together. It had been two years of a quite average life, something that seemed a bit foreign. Grocery shopping, jobs, everything was okay. There were no gunshot wounds or stab wounds and free days weren't spent training. Those days were spent curled up together on the couch. David read books and Lavernius played games, their adopted tabby cat (named Connie for reasons David wouldn't specify) would curl up in one of their laps, and the sun would come in through the blinds, falling over their skin. They would be warm and comfortable and eventually they would snuggle up together even closer and their eyes would fall shut and they'd simply take a nap.

Most every interaction between them by this point was soft and quiet, fights were limited, and sex didn't happen (at David's request). In short, everything was a lot calmer now. It was nice to say the least. Except for the...side effects. Lavernius had adjusted to regular life again quite easily. There were only a few nightmares from time to time. But different things would change people in different ways.

Honestly, Lavernius wasn't surprised that David wasn't too adjusted. Hell, he'd been through a lot. Not that Lavernius hadn't but when an AI does shitty things with your head you tend not to deal with everything as well. So quickly he learned not to sneak up on David. He learned that he needed to make sure he could be home on the 4th of July because the fireworks sent David under the bed with trembling hands because now anything that sounded like a gunshot terrified him. So when a thunderstorm rolled around Lavernius always tried to be at David's side, rubbing the spot between his shoulder blades. Not to mention the nightmares.

So, it had been two years and now Lavernius and David sat in the bedroom, coarse carpet brushing over their legs as they only wore their boxers. It was the middle of Summer and everything was muggy and hot so they sat there with bare shoulders illuminated dully by the lamp that sat on the nightstand. Lavernius sat up a bit taller while David was hunched over. A lot about them seemed to be opposite in that moment.

David's pale, freckled shoulders were unlike Lavernius' darker shoulders. Scars were scattered around David's back while Lavernius' scars were on his front. But never mind that because in reality that didn't matter. All that mattered was the way David swirled the drink he was holding around in the cup, it was alcoholic and Lavernius had poured it for him, something about 'loosening up,it's your favorite' so he took it and drank it as they sat on the ground together. In no way did they really ever act like adults, a lot of what they did was in the moment or just immature seeming.

Ignoring that fact David downed the rest of his drink, setting his glass on the carpet as Lavernius crawled into his lap. Rain hit the window and Lavernius pressed soft kisses along David's shoulder. The air was hot and muggy and broken air conditioning in a shitty apartment didn't help. When the first crack of thunder hit David's joints locked up and he thought of the shot he fired that ended South's life. He tried to focus on the whirring of their battery run fan across the room.

When the second one hit David let out a low whine, not by choice. His chest tightened and Lavernius' nose was pressed to his jaw as he held him. A shuddering breath escaped his lips and his eyes squeezed shut. He felt Lavernius' lips move, pressing gentle pecks across his cheeks and he hated this. He _hated_ this because this wasn't the life he wanted. No one wanted a life of being afraid of common things and occurrences.

But this was the life he had so he focused on his boyfriend's soft touch and willed his heart rate to slow.

Everything blurred together and when the storm started to slow David realized he had been crying, eyelashes damp with tears that Lavernius tried to brush away. His thumbs weren't quick enough though because the tears kept building up and David's cheeks were wet and he closed his eyes because he didn't want to see the look on the other's face. All he felt were the gentle kisses placed against his tired eyelids and Lavernius was only smearing the tears. How the hell do you kiss away tears. David almost laughed, but he didn't because he wasn't a fan of his voice cracks.

"I love you."

Lavernius' words were quiet and spoken across David's wet cheeks and before he knew it he felt a tear drop onto the side of his nose and they were both crying because war destroys you and changes you and they just wished they didn't feel so broken. They held onto each other and cried quietly.

It was kind of funny really, that they were here, in this apartment, so destroyed, crying together while someone next door could be getting laid, or getting a new job. No one laughed though, because hell, it was more sad then funny.

David just raised his arms to put them around Lavernius' waist, pulling him close, their chests pressed together. Their breath was short and tears clung to their cheeks but they kissed and it tasted like tears and the realization made his chest hurt.

They were just a sad pair of ex space soldiers.

"I love you too," David mumbled the words against lips wet with tears and a little saliva and nothing was beautiful anymore except Lavernius so David held him tight and for a few moments nothing hurt.

* * *

When David woke up from a nightmare his gray eyes would shoot open and he'd sit up, sheets tangled around his legs, a thin sheen of sweat on his skin. Tonight was the same but when he sat up he didn't hear Lavernius' soft snoring. Turning his head he noticed that the younger man looked up at him.

"You okay?"

David shook his head and fell back onto the bed, his arms wrapped around Lavernius' waist and soon he pressed his nose against his collarbone and they were silent. Hands ran through David's hair and he merely sighed gently.

Life wasn't really bad but it wasn't good. But really, it wasn't too bad. They had each other and they didn't really ask for much, just to be held because life could be unbearable.

Yes, David was in love but besides that nothing much made anything better.

So when Lavernius asked if he was okay he finally had his response, spoken against the shorter man's collarbone at 4 am.

"No."

He wasn't okay, nothing was okay. Because when fireworks went off he flinched and when he heard thunder tears welled up in his eyes. The simple enjoyment of storms or colorful fireworks was taken from him and he spent all the time he wasn't working at home, drinking whatever alcohol they had. Lavernius didn't know how to help so he just went on doing what he was doing. They drank and held each other as they cried, kisses placed over their faces. They just pretended everything was okay and when they visited Caboose's..Michael's for Christmas they could tell that everyone else was mostly pretending too. Sarge never showed up. Everyone else did but everything was tense and slowly they stopped going.

They never called the others and they never got calls. Everyone had their own lives and their own coping methods. The losses stung a damn lot. Hell, they'd known each other for a while, they'd been through a lot together and it was like they just all disappeared. A couple of times David had almost contacted Michael, that man always had positive outlooks on everything and as it was, David's outlook wasn't too positive.

So he just pressed closer to Lavernius, breath shaky against the smaller man's bare neck. A sudden question caught him off guard.

"Do you think you'll be okay ever again?"

"No, I don't."

Lavernius swallowed thickly, he didn't want to leave David. Of course not. But he was scared, scared for the older man's safety. So he took a shuddering breath and asked his question, nose pressed against David's hair.

"Do you..do you want to..?" He couldn't do it and the words died on his lips which trembled slightly.

"..end it? Oh, god, no, no, Lavernius." David scooted away a bit so he could meet eyes with the man. "No, I'm not going to leave you alone." His words shook and Lavernius shakily smiled, pressing their lips together.

And after that they went back to cuddling, holding each other but everything felt dulled. Nothing seemed to have light anymore, being in love made him happy in a way, but it wasn't what he needed. Everything was grayed out. David wasn't sure if ward was better. Nothing seemed to matter but Lavernius. He just wanted to sleep.

There was only one conclusion he could draw from his observations.

_'There is no magic in the world.'_


End file.
